God has a sense of humor...

Do you remember one of the first posts I wrote about how one of my questions to God was in regards to sleep? How can I take care of a baby in the middle of the night or stay up until 11pm for a feeding and be expected to function at rotation and work (10+ hour days)?

Normally sleep is of the utmost importance. Matt and I consider ourselves old because our bedtime is 10:00pm, sometimes earlier. My sleep is precious because I know what I can become without sleep......its not a very pretty picture. (Just being honest and poor Matt has to put up with me)

This week God has shown me I have the ability to be up at these crazy hours,,,,,but not by choice. At 10pm, which is normally bedtime, I have been wide awake 3-4 nights this week. So my normal 10pm bedtime became 12am bedtime and later. God's humor never fails.

 Last night at 12:30am I gave up trying to force myself to sleep and got up to be productive. I ate a piece of toast because I was hungry, made sure I was organized/ready for baby shower I was hosting today, and completed path homework.

But in all honesty I am disgusted with myself. I know why God has had me lying in bed, unable to go to sleep so many times this week. It is because I am stressed, overwhelmed, and burdened by many issues. All God was asking of me this week was to get up and spend some time with Him in prayer and Bible study. I know He is in control, but these last few weeks I have not been allowing Him to carry my burdens. I have been trying to do it myself and I cant.....
Furthermore, I have been lacking in my daily study of the Word. I know that I know that I know I need to be in the Word because that is how I continue to grow, be renewed, and be reminded of God's calling. Some weeks I am really good about my quiet time and other more hectic, stressful weeks I tend to neglect it. But in the stressful weeks is when I really need to be refreshed by the Word of the Lord.
Once a child arrives, I know it will be even easier to say I don't have time, but in reality, God deserves all of our time. Every other day to day activity may have to be neglected sometimes in order to spend time with Him.

So all in all, the next night he has me lying wide awake at 12am, I am going to obey and listen. I am going to spend time with Him in prayer and Bible study instead of "being productive" with my to-do list.

Thank you for letting me share my heart with you!