Fostering Ground Rules

PATH Class #1
The previous post was written by Matt. After reading his post, I laughed to myself because I was going to write a similar post. 3 years of marriage and we are already thinking alike.

As Matt said, I am in no way wanting to be judgemental of the people in the class with us; however, my personal opinion would be I would only trust about 2-3 families out of about 11 families to take care of my own child. Being in the healthcare field, I am a firm believer that in order to physically/mentally take care of others, you need to be physically/mentally taking care of yourself as well.
The funny thing is that some of the older couples in the class probably would say the exact same thing about Matt and I because we have no parenting/child-rearing experience whatsoever. Oh the irony.

Regardless of the motives of the people in the room, I know why Matt and I are there. My prayer is the interaction opportunities we have with fellow class participants, we will be able to share the gospel through our testimony of our motive for fostering/adopting.

Anyways on to the ground rules:

Rule #1: Matt and I will have to be official foster parents for 6 months before legal documents can be started with any child on adoption.

Rule #2: Obviously close friends and family are aware we are fostering/adopting, but if you see us in public, please dont ask, "oh is this your new foster child?" For one, by state law, we cannot disclose the child is a foster child or in state custody. Obviously, if one week we do not have a child and the next week we do, it is safe to assume it is a foster child. Our response to the above question will be , "No, this is OUR child for as long as God needs us to take care of him/her."

Rule #3: Matt and I are legally not suppose to share the child's past while still in state custody. This is going to be VERY tough for me. So please help me out by not asking the child's situation.

Rule #4: Please feel more than welcome to take as many pictures as you would like of any foster child we have along the journey. But out of respect, please do not post pictures on any social media until a child is legally ours. (This is state's rule.....not mine....it will be hard for me to follow as well)

Rule #5: Matt and I have such a supportive network of family and friends. I am sure there will be times some of you will watch a child for Matt and I. Although I do not necessarily agree, the child cannot be physically disciplined while in state's custody. Please be mindful of this and be thinking of creative ways to discipline other than spanking (time out, etc). Now of course, once the child is legally ours, please feel free to reasonably spank the child if he/she does something wrong. We are giving permission to all extended family now. ha

Rule #6: Although Matt and I would love to be the "forever family" for the first child who enters our home, however, this is USUALLY not the case (2007 estimate was 52% was reunited; only 15% adopted). So please keep in the mind the ideal goal of DCS, birth parents, and extended family members of the child would be to reunite the family if possible. If a child has been a part of our family for months, this will be difficult for everyone. Please be respectful and do not ask "what happened?" Matt and I will openly talk about it when we are ready.

Rule #7: All Matt and I ask is that you love every child who enters our home as if it were your own child, grandchild, niece/nephew, friend, blood relative etc.

We still have a long journey ahead. Matt and I will have homework to complete after every Sat. session. We have numerous visits, interviews, paperwork to deal with in the coming months. I will discuss the different requirements to be a "resource parent" in future posts.

Thank you to all of you who continue to pray for us!