Extreme Makeover.....Flynn/Arnold Style

 Today has been an overload of emotions.

The day started with Matt and I enjoying a 7:30am Shelby Farms run. With rotation and work schedule, it is rare Matt and I are able to run together so we cherish the time we are able to do it.

Stacy arrived at my house at 9:00 am with a car packed ready to get started. (We were suppose to start at 9:30 am....lol....) 

Shortly after Lindsay and Chris arrived with a car loaded with baby and house items as well.

The first task was to empty the guest bedroom to make room for the child's room. Basically, it all ended up in my living room

You have to make a mess in order to get a masterpiece, right?

Stace brought everything with her, including cleaning supplies...(I guess she knows I do not clean..ha)

The first room to be taken care of was the child's bathroom. Stace and Linds shut the door and would not let me take part to make it a surprise. It is so cute and so gender neutral! I love it! The kid even has spongeBOB soap, a toothbrush, and towels!

The next adventure was fixing up the baby room. Stace/Linds continued to surprise me as they brought more and more pieces of furniture into my house.

The finished product looks incredible!!! I am so thankful for their help! Both of them sacrificed a full day to re-organize my home and create a child's atmosphere.

The guest bedroom quickly became the child's room. But I also still needed a guest bedroom; therefore we took on project number 2.

 In the midst of the project, Matt posted pictures of a futon on craigslist and sold it the same day. God never ceases to take care of us. BTW, if anyone is looking for a massive TV, we are saleing one on craigslist. Email me for details! :)

Room number 2:

 Mom and Dad are coming to visit next weekend for a UT Pharmacy Rho Chi Honors Society banquet. They still will have a place to sleep! :)


Linds and I made a quick trip to Lowes for a few hardwares pieces and organizational structure for the garage (once again, thanks stace!). We were quite clueless and we must have appeared this way. Every sales rep was asking if he/she could help. ha
Stace stayed at the house and worked on the kitchen.
 When we returned from Lowes this is what we found.....

What an awesome way to use pictures! I never would have thought to do this!


All of us were beginning to fade with lack of food (thanks to Matt for Digorno pizza to hold us over) and having to concentrate/focus way too much. Hanging pictures evenly is not an easy job when you are tired. ha

We moved into the living room. Everything in the living room was either moved to the garage or the kitchen. I have not had this much stuff in our garage since we moved here. Even all my school notebooks are in the garage now. I am glad they are out of the house!

 If you have been to my house, this is a major furniture re-arrangement. It will take some time getting used to, but I love it! It is so nice to have something new! I am so bad about being a risk taker and just trying something to see if I like it. Stace contributed many of the new living room pieces from her own home, and I am so grateful!

I love love love the kid's table and chairs! It makes it look like I have a child's breakfast nook right by the window! It is precious!

The last goal for the day was to hang kitchen pictures. This job took much longer than the others because we were tired and not loving the placement. But we finally found an arrangement that works. We just need to purchase a few items to make it complete.

THANK YOU TO STACY AND LINDSAY FOR SACRIFICING YOUR SATURDAY TO PREPARE MY HOME FOR THE CHILD GOD HAS CHOSEN. 

I cannot thank you enough! Matt and I have been blessed today, and we want to be a blessing to others.

I want to give a BIG shout out to the boys: Chris and Matt. Chris made the drive to Jackson on Thursday and to my home this morning to bring all the items in the car. Chris was a handyman as soon as he arrived...started unloading and tightening screws. And thank you for sharing your wife for the day!

Matt was a big help in the afternoon: moving items to the garage, posting Craigslist items, making sure we were fed, and hanging items as we asked. What an awesome husband!

One more thank you to Lindsay and Stace for the time they have invested into today besides for the actual day. They have both spent countless hours searching Ebay and Craigslist for just the perfect items. They both spent time putting baby furniture pieces together without instructions....thank goodness for google. ha I know there has been so much work and effort into this project. I wanted to make sure it did not go unnoticed. I cannot wait until a child of God is able to utilize all of the pieces of love! Thanks again friends!

We ended the evening by having dinner at Firebirds! All of us love the food and atmosphere! It has a special place in Matt and I's lives due to working there a short time!

P.S. PROPS TO MAMA JANE FOR OPENING HER HOME TO 7 CHILDREN THIS WEEKEND! (3 grandchildren, Kam, and Nick, Timmy, Emily) OUR FUTURE LITTLE ONE WILL MAKE IT 8!! ARE YOU READY LOLLI AND POP? :)
She came by after the kids all had baths to check out the new rooms! She was blown away by the kindness and love!

Biggest Loser and Adoption??

I will start this post by indicating I am not a "Biggest Loser" fan. I have never watched any of the seasons because I feel as if the show emphasizes the drama more than the actual work outs. Have you ever noticed out of a 2 hr time span, maybe 30 minutes total of work out is shown? I realize watching some one work out does not bring millions of viewers, but why is it even reality TV?

I digress; Matt Has decided to watch the episodes this year as part of his work training. Basically, he uses the show to attempt to get new ideas for his trainees.
BTW, if you are looking for an educated, thorough personal trainer, you should call Matt. He would love to talk fitness or health with you! That was my quick plug for my husband.

While Matt had the show on last night, I perked up when adoption was mentioned. One of this years "Biggest Loser" candidates is adopted as well as the African American trainer.

Why does this matter? The candidate indicated how rough BIRTHDAYS were every year for her. Her special day was consumed with, "Does my birth mother ever think of me on my birthday? What is my birth mother doing? Was my birth a mistake?" etc.

We all know how much I love birthdays! Now I have an excuse to make every birthday for every child of mine extra special. Please join me as family and friends to make every child feel loved as a gift from God on every birthday! A simple card, phone call, little happy (favorite candy) or hug makes all the difference sometimes!

My prayer is birthdays for the little boy/girl God has chosen for our family be a day of celebration and not a day to be dreaded!

Bethany, the state, or both?

One Sunday afternoon, Matt and I were relaxing and enjoying the afternoon. Matt planned to grill chicken for dinner and I asked Matt if he wanted to invite his parents over to eat with us. Even living in the same city, we do not see Matt's family near as much as we would like. We thought it would be a GREAT opportunity to spend some quality time as well as tell them our great news!

Sitting around the dinner table, Matt informed them we had some news to tell them. I am sure they immediately thought we were expecting, but Matt informed them we had started the adoption process. We were SHOCKED at the reaction. Jane started immediately crying saying she could not have been more happier if he would have told her I was pregnant. It was a VERY emotional moment because none of us, including Matt, were prepared to be brought to tears.

Matt's parents were the first of family and friends to know for several reasons. Matt's parents have had their fair share of foster children as well as their own adopted child, Allen. Matt's dad works for the state as DCS worker. We knew the two of them would be able to answer questions for us and help us in our journey. We wanted their support from the beginning. They were so very open and willing to share. They gave Matt and I great insight in what to expect during the process and how to prepare.

One suggestion Jane made resonated with us. She asked us if we had considered going through the state to adopt. Neither Matt or I had really considered it before this point. After discussing details and what to expect with the state, Matt and I decided to pursue this route as well.
The state does not move very quickly in the beginning, but there would be a good chance we would have a child soon after the preliminary process was complete.

For now, Matt and I have decided to continue the journey with the state. We may decide to broaden the options in the future, but for now we are going to try and remove children from the foster care system.

Matt and I will attend the PATH class every Sat in March. We are looking forward to this in order to get the process moving. More to come once we attend the class!

Shout out to the Arnolds/Flynns!!!

I am so thankful for the friends in my life like Lindsay and her mom. From the moment I told Lindsay about the adoption process, she was on board! Linds has wanted to know a play by play update on the process and this has thrilled me to no end. If anyone knows Linds, babies are not her forte. But she is going to make one great auntie lindsay to my children. ha :)

Until this point, Linds and her mom have spent more time on craigs list, ebay, baby sale shopping than I could ever repay them for. I have to be 100% honest and say I have not done one thing to try and prepare for the future lil one. I am a planner so not knowing boy/girl, black/white, or newborn/ 2yo, has made me weary of doing any type of shopping for my precious child. I am trying not to spend any unnecessary money.

I can not wait to see all of their purchases and actually see them put to use!
They have both agreed to come transform one of my three bedrooms into a room fit for a lil one! Both of them are so much better at decorating and having creative ideas than me.

BTW: Be praying for Linds because the BIG test as a second year med school student is in the spring, and I dont want any baby stuff to get in the way of her studying!

Nason family finds out!

After telling Matt's mom and dad, the next person we wanted to know was Allen. Because he is adopted, we wanted his blessing as well as his insight. We knew Allen would be honest with us and give us a perspective of what it is like not being biologically a part of the family.

We chose to wait and tell Matt's brother Jonathan and sister Amanda at the St. Jude Half Marathon in Dec 2011. It was a special day because it was both of his sibling's first half marathon.
We told them before the race started and both were super excited to be a part of the process.

When the race was over (and Matt was not in such great condition), Jane realized we had told his siblings without her being around. I think she was a lil disappointed she was not able to witness their expressions or reactions. Sorry Mama Jane!! :)

ADOPTED FOR LIFE: RUSSEL MOORE CONFERENCE

Friday night and Saturday Matt and I attended an Adopted for Life conference at Lifepoint Church in MS. Friday night Dr. Moore preached a message that EVERY Christian or non-Christian, adopted or non adopted, young or elderly should hear. He made many great points. My prayer is that one day my adopted children as well as my biological children will hear him preach.
 
Saturday morning Dr. Moore once more presented a very convicting message. Some of the following are great points:
It is easy to love the poor when you are not "around" the poor. People should not be viewed as resources (whether rich or poor) because resources are temporary.
 
Widows and orphans are not an abstract idea or a "project." They are real people with real needs and the church needs to start acting like it.

Taking care of widows and orphans is not a "charity" or a "hand-out." Widows and orphans will not be widows and orphans forever because one God promises states the "least of these" will not be "least of these forever."

Do not ignore the infertile women in your life. It is an easy place for satan to be at work. Infertile women have the tendency to be bitter, envious, covet, in despair, etc.

We are all sinners who need to love sinners. Instead of shunning the unwed mother carrying a child, she needs to be nurtured, ministered to, and given guidance.

When fostering or adopting, you are accepting that LOVE brings risk. LOVE means I can be hurt. 
Main take away: How is God calling me to care for widow and orphans?
    Is it the desire to adopt? Is it a financial contribution? Is it sacrificing time at a women's clinic?

Saturday afternoon message:
How do you communicate to a child he/she WAS adopted? You explain to the child he/she is in THIS family because God decided for you to be in OUR family. And we are a family permanently.
Parents should also teach the gospel as a perfect picture of adoption. Just as I am adopted in Christ and have a newness in identity, the adopted child as newness in identity as a part of this family.
Parents should emphasize the child WAS adopted. He/She is now "my child."

Many people will question how one will response when the child has an identity crisis. How does any parent deal with a child going through an identity crisis? Every teenager/college age student goes through a "who am I really?" phase. The identity crisis is not a result of adoption; adopted children have a tendency to create the birth parent into whoever he/she wants the birth parent to be. This is normal and parents should not freak out!

Important lesson: DO NOT condemn the birth parent. God defines who the child is...it is not all about genetics. When an adopted child begins to question how much of the birth family resides in him/her or if he/she is predestined to this behavior, remind the child who defines their identity.

BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION AND PARRISH/CARR FAMILY FIND OUT THE GOOD NEWS!

The weeks leading up to this weekend caused me some serious anxiety. It seems silly, but I was genuinely concerned on how my family would respond to the adoption news. My family has always been supportive and I expected nothing less.

However, I knew the same questions I have been asking God over the last few months would be the same questions they had for me. In all honesty, I did not and still dont have all the answers. This terrifies me. I did not want this to appear as irrational, unplanned, unorganized, unprayed about decision on Matt and Is part. I knew how God was preparing Matt and I, but I did not know how God was preparing my family's heart.

But I will begin with the start of the weekend:
Friday night, Matt and I made the trip to Nashville to meet up with my mom and dad at Maggianos for a "doube date" early valentine's dinner. We did not have the best of service but Maggianos is such a cute restaurant and the food was excellent. Plus, if you order a traditional pasta, you get a portion to take home with you. The portions are large so I had left overs and a whole extra meal! For dinner, we had bread with olive oil, calamari, italian salad, and I had a bow tie pasta with spinach and peppers. Yummy!


My nerves were on edge the entire meal because I knew I had to bring up the conversation at some point. Once the waiter brought the check, I knew I could not put it off any longer.
I started by sharing my heart and how God has lead me to completely surrender and just say, "yes" without knowing all the details. For those of you who know me, you know this is a huge God thing!
Mom and dad were quiet but smiling. I could tell they were taking it all in and processing.
My dad was sweet because when I started crying, he grabbed my hand to comfort me. Mom indicated she had told dad on the way to church the last Sun morning she thought we were preparing our hearts to adopt. She knew we had been reading Orphanology, Kisses for Kate, attending adoption conferences, etc. But, what she was not aware of was this was the result of us saying "yes" to God months before. God was using all of these resources to prepare me to share my heart and prepare for adoption emotionally.

The questions my parents asked were minimal. Matt and I tried to tell them as much as we could about the details we knew and were honest when we did not know the answers.

It was a good evening. I was thankful to finally be able to share what God had been doing in my life over the last few months. It has been extremely difficult not being able to talk to mom about the issue, because we talk on a regular basis.
 
Saturday morning was extremely relaxing and well needed after the week before. Most of the previous week nights, Matt and I had not been home until 9pm or later. We spent time with Joel/Joie at the Arnold's home, we went to Sky Jump Memphis for the first time, I went to a sunday school ladies' social, and I worked 3 nights. We did not even have time to watch my weekly House or American Idol.
 
Mom made heart shape waffles in honor of valentine's weekend. They were yummy. We had great conversation just about life and enjoyed not doing much of anything. Of course, dad had left at 7:30am to do a side job! He is the most hard working man I know. Around lunch time, we did a work out inside, because it was in the 20s and snowing! We ate left overs from Maggianos and ran a few errands. As soon as dad got home from his side job, he started working on his home project to transform the downstairs into a beautiful room for the new furniture. Sat night mom cooked pork chops, homemade mashed potatoes, sister shubert rolls, sweet peas, and macaroni! It was a fabulous dinner! As a family, we watched "The Help." Matt and I had seen it before, but mom and dad had not. You can not watch a movie without fixing cookies!! So that is what I did! ha
 
After the movie, Matt and I went to bed, while dad stayed up to work more on the room.
Sunday morning was relaxing was well. I did another inside work out while mom fixed cinnamon rolls (Matt's favorite!) We went to church as a family where Pat Hood spoke on identity in Christ. Pat made it very clear that social ministry has to be coupled with verbally speaking the gospel. My prayer is as we take children into our home, we not only show love, but we express and share God's love/gospel.
After church, we headed to grand and gdaddys to celebrate the 3 February birthdays!

 HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO G-DADDY AND GINGER!

Grand fixed one of my favorites (lasagna) and had cheesecake for dessert! 
As we sat around the dinner table, finishing up the meal, I announced Matt and I had some news. Of course, several thought we were about to say we were expecting, but this was not the case. After sharing our heart and the journey God has lead us down, the family was supportive and encouraging.

Grand said she knew we would probably adopt one day but the timing was a surprise. G-daddy's response, "overwhelmed." Grand and g-daddy will be great grandparents soon! Brianna cried tears of joy. Denny commented he knew his children would end up playing with his sister's grandchildren. Ginger asked some of the questions I knew the whole family was wanting to know, boy/girl? medical issues? race? age?

I answered them honestly and openly. Matt and I strongly believe God loves every orphan, regardless of race or gender. Because adoption is the perfect picture of the gospel, Matt and I would not be imitators of Christ if we rejected a child based on color or gender. Besides, if I were having my own, I would not be able to choose boy or girl!
I am so thankful to have a family as supportive and encouraging as mine. If I am following God's will for my life, then

Long post but it was a weekend worth remembering!!

Visit with Mamaw

Matt had to teach a team training class at DAC Saturday morning. I went with him to run on the treadmill and participate in his class. Matt always has a thorough work out planned, but I do occasionally complain about specific stations he chooses. (Sorry hunny! :)

 After showers, we headed to MS to spend the afternoon with Mamaw (my dad's mother). Upon arrival, Mamaw had fresh pineapple bread ready! It was yummy. For lunch, she cooked us stir fry in the WOK I gave her for Christmas. It was so nice to have fresh vegetables in the stir fry instead of a frozen bag. (once again, sorry Matt!)

While sitting around the table, Matt and I shared the news with her. I believe she was surprised due to her response. But we tried to explain the best we could how God has been preparing our hearts for months for the journey ahead.

Around 4pm, Aunt Lisa and Anna came by to spend some time with us. It was good to see both of them. I hated not being able to visit with Uncle Don. He was not feeling great. Hope you feel better uncle don! Matt and Anna love to pick on each other so they are always fun to be around. Anna had braces put on the day before so her mouth was hurting and her speech was a little altered. Hope the soreness is wearing off.

We shared the news with Anna and Aunt Lisa. Both were very excited! Anna said she would babysit for me! I told her I hoped she was being serious because I may have to take her up on it.

For dinner, we met up with Grandmother Wise and all went to eat at Mcalisters. I had a grilled chicken spud from Mcalisters for the first time. I was not too impressed. I think I will stick with my usual from there. After sharing the news with grandmother, she of course had similar questions that I have prayed about. I am not sure why God is calling Matt and I to do this before I graduate pharmacy school, but in all honesty, loving/caring for what God loves (and hating what God hates) is more important than my doctorate degree any day. Trust me, I plan to finish out my current calling as a student. And God is slowly revealing to me what he has in store for me with my degree once I have completed my four years, but for now, we are saying YES to His will for us.

Another question asked was "why we are not having our own biological children?" Matt and I both desire to have biological children one day. We have no idea if we are fertile or infertile. We have never tried to conceive. Adoption for us is plan A, not plan B just because we cannot have our own. God does not say "take care of the orphans only after you have had your own children, nor does he say take care of orphans after you find out you are infertile."

The above was a tangent and me sharing my heart. The visit with MS family is always a delight! It is nice to have a relaxing Saturday spending time with family. I love you guys and will be back to visit soon!

International or Domestic?

Matt and I have prayed diligently over the adoption because only He has the ability to make all of this happen. Some people may ask, why did they choose domestic over international? We have selfish reasons as well as convicted reasons.

Selfishly, it would be impossible for me to take the time to go to another country during my rotations. I have very few, select months off and God would have to orchestrate the timing to be perfect. Do I think He could do this? Well of course, but I am not a risk taker. On the other hand, Matt and I firmly believe that although the poverty in the US can not be compared to a third world country an orphan is an orphan. Whether the child was born in Memphis, TN or across the world, all children need to know Jesus and what it means to be loved by an earthly father as well as a heavenly father.

So for now, we want to obey God's command by ministering in our "Samaria." International adoption is not out of the question for the future, but we are at peace with our decision to follow through with domestic adoption.