With that being said, we hope God's glory is evident throughout this process and the way in which we choose to respond to the outcomes.
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| Thanks Braswells! Baby B even got to partake in some! :) |
Thanks to our friends, who are doing life with us, for bringing homemade cinnamon rolls at 7:30 am to get the day started off right.
When we arrived to court, the attorney for Baby C's mother quickly informed us her mother would not be showing up. He indicted she was hospitalized at the med under an alias name. We were skeptical on truth of this. Baby C's aunt, who she has visits with, was present and quite disturbed by the news as well. She tried to call Baby C's mother that morning but no answer.
Needless to say nothing transpired and the court date was moved to the end of May. Baby C will be 10 months old at this point and the judge is yet to hear why Baby C is in state's custody to begin with.
Of note Baby B and C both have the same attorney and he had not shown up at this point.
Then we waited for Baby B's turn. We were called in before the judge at one point but B's attorney was still not present so they skipped us while we waited for him to arrive.
In the meantime, Baby B's mother and grandmother were interacting with B but he didn't want much part of it. The grandmother of Baby B is very young (32?) and has 9 kids of her own. All of her kids were present because they have been removed from her home by the state and in foster care as well.
As I am writing this at 3 am, I can't sleep. My mind keeps replaying what transpired inside the court room. Could I have said more? Did I say the right thing? Why is B's case worker incompetent? Why was Bs attorney not fully on board with the change? Why does he have authority to make "final comments" when he never visits with B or communicates with Matt or I? Why is mother's attorney finding loop holes to drag this out even longer? Although VERY evident the mother has not pursued getting life in order outlined in the permanency plan, the judge was not convinced it was time to change the goal to soley adoption.
It was the first time I heard B's mother say more than a few words. She went irate in the court room: very dramatic and emotional. She started talking about herself and most of it had zero relevance to wanting her baby back. Apparently there is discrepancy on how or why B was placed in state's care in first place. She went on and on about how she's almost 19 and doesn't need to finish high school and how she has called DCS off and on about B and how she doesn't have transportation (although was supposedly given bus tickets), etc. I don't even know what all she was going on about. She also mentioned it was B's case workers fault of why her baby's daddy wasn't showing up (30 year old man) because he told him it would do no good.
Ultimately the judge decided not to change the permanency plan to adoption at this time. There is a court date in April for the mother in attempt to iron out all of the issues of why he came into care and child support charges etc. That has no relevance to us. Apparently the mother had court the day prior. We were not aware of this. I believe the April date if an appeal to Thursday's court date
I'm concerned that whatever was said or presented the day before weighed into the judge's decision. There is still a lot of unknowns in the case.
Because the mother was so worked up, they had a deputy escort Matt, myself, and the babies out to our car.
Transitioning back to Baby C's mother: I received a call from the aunt around 10:45am. She had called her brother (C's supposed daddy) and found out from him that C's mom was not at the hospital and she was actually with him. C's mom refused to talk to the aunt.
The aunt was calling to tell me the truth and also to say she is done trying to bend over backwards, take off work, help someone who doesn't want help, put her own health at stake, etc. She told me she loved c and it is her niece but she just can't be in the middle of the mess.
I thanked her for her honesty because she didn't have to inform me of this and for being willing to tell the truth of why C's mother did not show up for court.
She was very respectful and very honest about not being able to do it anymore.
Matt and I don't know what this means at this point. The aunt was our avenue to get out of arranging weekly visits with the mother. I don't think the mother deserves weekly visits.
She's not getting out pt treatment. She's been discharged twice from the same place.
She is suppose to have weekly drug screens. The most recent is from sept and it was pos for several drugs.
She is still living with cs father and lied about moving into apartment for battered women.
She doesn't take her meds on a regular basis
She doesn't have stable income
I could probably go on and on but the intent is not to bash Cs mother. It would just be nice to have some closure
I had to go into rotation for the rest of the afternoon, but I was pretty much useless.
Matt got some baby time at home. I am so proud of him and how AWESOME he is caring and loving the babies. I am sure I have his excellent father to thank for that one. He was a great role model.
Matt sent me a text late afternoon informing me B was running a fever of 101 but he seemed to be doing better after Tylenol and a nap.
I went for a short run and then fixed dinner.
The stiglers came over for a lil bit to talk about life over brownies. I am thankful for their friendship and how they have walked this road with us from day one of bringing Baby C home.
Looking forward to a calm weekend. I had a nice surprise and was given Monday off for MLK day and I plan to enjoy some baby time.
On a side note, we were able to talk with Madison Thursday night and it made my evening! She seems to be doing better. She would not give me many details over the phone, but I am hoping she is headed down a better direction. It will be February before we see her again. :(
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